Website: https://merittrollinsbrown.com/
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I am Merrit Rollins Brown, your go-to mindset maintenance community coach for learning all about your thoughts, feelings, and habits in order to start achieving your goals and stepping into your future self. You ready?
What's up y'all? Man? I feel like this week has just flown by. My son won his basketball game over the weekend and my husband also won his basketball game over the weekend. Um, but that's pretty much all we did. And actually this Friday night, my husband and I are playing in the parent versus teacher basketball game for our kids' school, and I haven't played basketball on a hot minute, so we'll see how it. Uh, we did get an email though, reminding us that this is a fundraiser in a fun event, and most teachers have never played basketball before and it is not about winning I guess. Um, they experienced something, uh, this last, the last time that they hosted this, uh, where parents maybe. Took it a little too seriously. So Michael is just to have fun. Hopefully hit a basket. So we'll see. But today I just wanted to share a few clips of a recent coaching session that I did, um, because I think it's valuable information that I wanna share with you. let's get into it.
Meritt:um, okay. And, shoot, I had a point too. Hang on. What did I just say? Before? How I was saying it at the beginning, how I go through like months of sort of having my shit together, but then. I do the complete opposite, and then everything's disorganized and I don't have my shit together. Um, it's easier for me to now see the patterns and understand like, oh, I'm feeling this way because I'm thinking this, and then how can I get myself sort back on track? And so I think that's helpful with staying in the belief that you can achieve this goal, um, and making that conscious effort after you are aware, of your thoughts and then your feelings, and then your habits that come. how you feel. So what I have learned is everybody has circumstances in life. Everybody has circumstances. and your thoughts create your feelings and then your feelings or what create your habits. So you either like do something or, uh, like overwork yourself, um, or you don't do something so you just sort of sit back and withdraw and then so that creates your habits and then that creates your results in your. So a lot of times if you wanna change your result, you have to go back to the root cause of it, which are your thoughts. so a good exercise to do is, working on limiting beliefs and what do you think about yourself currently? This is better if you get specific about it. What do you currently think about yourself that you feel is stopping you? Do you think it's true though, that you take too long to get something accomplished? Do you view that as as a problem? Yeah, I feel like when you describe that, there is some self-judgment in there. Sometimes when I feel like I am taking too long or something, then I am being a burden to somebody else. Am I really being a burden to them if they've asked for my help and I'm helping them in the best way that I can help them and. I think that, is good to keep in mind because I mean, everybody, has obstacles. Everybody has demons. Every body struggles with something and I don't think we should put as much pressure as we do on our. In this life doing things. Not everything has to be done perfectly. Not everything has to be done at a fast pace. I mean, you look at Europeans and they take an hour a day to just go walk around in a park or something. Americans, I feel like just you gotta go. You gotta go. You gotta get this done. You gotta get this done. Our view of time can be a little skewed in that way. Or if you are in the grocery store line and then people are behind you at the self-checkout or whatever, then you're thinking, man, I gotta hurry up. I gotta hurry up. I'm gonna, somebody's gonna be, IM. and this line, you know, cuz I'm going so slow. Well, who cares if they are impatient that is on them? That is how they feel. That is what they are thinking. That is nothing to do with what you are If they're impatient, they can fuck off and go to a Line. Or you know, if they were running behind. I don't know. Their kids didn't get ready for school and then they're already frustrated from that. Like that's their problem. They have their own stuff to deal with, but a lot of times we feel responsible for how other people feel, and that's just not true. Like nobody can, nobody can make us feel a certain way. It's all about how. perceive that experience in the thoughts that we have. And like I said before, a lot of times in our past we had a similar experience. And so our brain reverts back to that feeling, like the urge of, I forgot what I said earlier, the urge of withdrawing. So if I feel like, somebody asked me for help, but. I put so much pressure on myself like, Ooh, I got to, you know, do this as quickly as possible, but it has to be perfect. But then in the back of my mind I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm taking forever. Like why am I so bad at this? And then you're just doubting yourself and you aren't show, showing up fully present in the task is you're so worried about how the other person. even though you know you're still trying your best, but if, if they are mad at you or say something to you about it or something like that, like again, that is on them. That is their emotional responsibility of how they react and. to you and what you're doing. The next time you're doing something I want you to pause and I want you to say, okay, what is going through my mind at this? and make a mental note. Also think about how you're feeling at that moment. The way to. rewire your brain, which sounds complicated, but it's not really that complicated. It's just being aware of the moment, what you're thinking and what you're feeling, and then also thinking about, okay, in the future when I feel, or when I think this and I feel this way, how do I want to. So we want to respond to situations more so than react because when we are reacting, we aren't consciously aware of what's going on. We're just relying on our brain in past experiences versus if I take a second and pause, how do I want to show up in this situ? So I'm going to respond instead of react and then revert back to so like old feelings. And it's the same thing when you like look in the mirror. If you look in the mirror and then you instantly think, oh man, I need to lose weight. How does that make you feel in that moment? But then also think about how can I shift my mindset? around how I view my body a lot of times if you're like me and I hate my body, and then in the future you wanna be like, yeah, I want to fucking love my body, your brain's gonna be like, yeah, we can't do that. Because again, it doesn't know it doesn't know the future. And so it's, it's too big of a leap. And it, this happens to people, like if they start a diet and they're like, oh yeah, I'm going. cut out soda and chips and fried food and sweets when they sort of regularly consume those things, and, but it, they use their willpower. It's like, no, I'm not eating that. No, I'm not eating that. But then they restrict themselves so much from those things that they want, that they just cave and then eventually end up eating that and they're like, oh, I'm gonna start this diet again on Monday. And then that's like the roller coaster of it, because you're trying to go from your current thinking to. how you want to think and your brain's like, yeah, no, that's not sustainable. We can't do that Because a, a lot of times we do live on autopilot. and so we don't really know what exactly what we're thinking. Um, you know, it's like driving to the same place every day. Sometimes you're in the car and you're like, oh shit, I'm already here. I don't remember that drive at all. They say like, it's gonna to take a different route on occasion. To keep your mind focused or something like that. It's good to open your mind up to, okay, what is this thought? Where did it come from? Why am I still thinking this? Is this thought serving me or is it not serving me? in this stage of my life. Um, or is this thought even true? Why am I even thinking this all now if it's not serving me? Like, how long have I been thinking this all? The more you practice like thought awareness and you know, oh, how, like visualizing your future in your future self. How do I wanna live? What do I want to think? How do I want to show up in the world? you are more able to make those things happen once you practice this stuff and then you. aware of your thoughts and then you actually feel your feelings. So if you feel disappointed, feel disappointed in that moment and process that and then it's so much easier to move on instead of like avoiding that negative feeling. Like I don't want to feel disappointment anymore, so I'm gonna go drinking a glass of wine to make myself feel better. it doesn't actually make you feel better because you're resisting that feeling and then you're replacing it with something external because you don't wanna focus on what's going on internally. These processes can help you navigate.
All right. I hope you enjoyed that. And if you want to pursue coaching with me, you can visit my website, merit rollins brown.com, and you can actually schedule a free 30 minute discovery call to see if we would be a good fit, uh, for one another. I focus on. helping you figure out your future self and we stop wasting time and you start becoming your best. And we are dropping the excuses in getting our asses moving. So that's what I help you with, All right. Well, until next week, bye.
Meritt:Thank you for listening to the podcast. If you like this podcast and want to dive deeper into mindset management work, I want to invite you to work one-on-one with me. We go over what you want to achieve in your future. Create a customizable plan that will keep you engaged and propel you forward. Head on over to merit rollins brown.com. To book your free discovery call with me. That's M E R I T T R O L L I n s B r o w n.com. For more mindset, maintenance, community tips and tricks, be sure to follow me over on Instagram and on TikTok at me, Rollins Brown. I'll see ya.