EP 23 | Are You a Yo-Yo Goal Setter?

When setting goals, you have to be clear about what result you want. If not, you will end up losing motivation and steam, and try to do all the things at once and burn out. Ultimately not reaching your goal. 

You need to create a clear vision on what you want and be able to break it down into manageable, bite-sized, doable steps. This way you create a clear path and direction to go in and you create habits and start planning for obstacles. 

Sometimes we let the self-doubt, negative self-talk, fear of failure, or overwhelm paralyze in a way that we don't even start trying to reach our goals. Sometimes we create an unrealistic timeline for ourselves and put so much pressure on ourselves that when we don't reach a certain goal in "time" we feel shame and disappointment, then we stop trying or change direction. 

Next time you want a different result, get clear on what your needs are, what you want to accomplish, and create a realistic timeline for yourself. After all, you can always shift or change your goals, non are set in stone! 

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Transcript

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What's that cuties. It's merit in this And he, you podcasts. Oh my gosh. I want to talk about this past weekend. So I went to New York to, Playing the New York sevens. Kamogi tournament with. The twin cities. Kamogi team TC, R E I believe. And, Person from St. Louis we had no subs. The pitches were beautiful. And we played six. 14 minute long games. Against all Irish teams. One of them was a youth team. It was so much fun. It was so nice being able to play. Against who are. On the level. I am. On. And so it made it a really competitive. Tournament and. I feel like. If we. We played really well. I went into it. With. No nerves. Actually, if you know me, I get really nervous. because I doubt myself a lot and I said no more to that. And so I went and just really excited in. To have fun into let it be a learning experience. And it went debtor than expected. And I played. A lot. Better because I. Was a lot more confident on the field and you can tell. But, and then in the fourth game, nine calves grant, and then I wasn't doing much after that. What was special about this trip? Was I got to hang out with my brother and sister-in-law and my nephews, my two nephews, Who are just growing up is so it's so nice hanging out with them because we live so far apart and we don't see. Each other. A lot. So it's always a wonderful time being with him. I feel like I sound different. I know. I probably, I know I don't. But I feel like I do because I got my bottom retainer, permanent retainer taken off today. Because it broke. Part of it broke and my teeth feel really weird and I feel like. I'm just speaking. Differently. Although, I think it's just. I'm not used to not having a retainer there. I just wanted to kind of talk about. Being patient. And not being patient. Because when a lot of times when we set goals and myself included is we set a goal and then. We set some kind of timeline. And I know a lot. Uh, people Who have said, oh, I need to lose. 10 pounds by the end of the month. And. Sometimes. These goals are realistic. Sometimes they are not realistic. And then when we don't reach those goals within that deadline, then it's like, oh, see it didn't work. I can't do it. And so you just stopped trying. you know, How people yo-yo diet, you can yo-yo. Goal-set. And part of that comes with. Just. I think experience immaturity and. Getting help along the way and, having guidance, but also believing in. Uh, long-term picture. And believing in yourself that you can actually reach that goal. A friend asked me a question about, Losing fat. Because they've been doing all the things. Eating well. Not eating sugar, not eating. Flower, working out weightlifting, doing some hit. And some cardio, but focusing more on weightlifting and, They've lost weight. And have gained a little bit of muscle, but. They still can't seem to lose. Fat. So they're asking me like my opinion about that. And they started this Back in. February. It's been a couple months. And, I was talking to them in. I was saying that. Honestly. It's just going to take longer than you. Think it should take. To really notice. Your body changing. Or to notice like the fat loss and then the muscle gain, like you're starting to develop and show your muscles more. I was telling them that. My experience, I've been working out with my trainer marina for a year now. And it took me. A good eight. Nine months. Of consistently working out. With her. Too. Like wake up and realize, oh, whoa, we ship. I looked different. Uh, like I have felt strong. And I think it was just the draining position from going into winter and two. Now spring, because I pulled out all of my shorts. For the summer. And like, none of them were fitting me. And I was like, oh my gosh. What in the world and that I started. Like looking at my legs. Cause Over the winter, I just wear leggings or pants. And I was like, oh, okay. I can tell him that my quads have gotten bigger and my hamstring has gotten bigger not only that, but my booty is looking rather. Good. Now and. Again, it's been. The years since I started weightlifting. And. It's like you wake up. He do all this work and then one day you wake up and you're like, oh, I see. The results that I've wanted to see. You know, I noticed that about myself. A couple months ago. In. It's just a, sometimes you have short-term goals and sometimes you have long-term goals. I was telling my friend that you just. I need to set the impatience on the side. And just keep doing what you're doing. I hear it over and over again, especially in, Business with business coaches that I follow that consistency is key. And I've talked about consistency before that sometimes you're gonna show up at 30% and sometimes you're going to show up at a hundred percent every day. But. Being consistent means that you're showing up. No matter their percentage. And if you keep putting things out there, Then you will eventually get something in return. I've talked about my business before and it's. Kind of that way. With my business, because I have this program that I want to launch and I believe we'll be successful. I'm still trying to figure out that process. Then I just open up one-on-one coaching and I know. Aye. Can help a lot of people and it's just getting that message out and that word out. For people to just know that. Um, I have that offer available and. It's going to, it's not going to be. An overnight thing where I'm going to. Get, Booked up. Right away. I know another business coach took. In her first year of business, she made$40. And then her second year, I forget the number. It was maybe a hundred. Thousand or 200,000, but now. Like five years into it. She's making. A lot of money. She always uses the popcorn analogy. Where you put popcorn in the microwave and. The end result is you're going to go from the Colonel to the pot. Popcorn and. Sometimes. The first one will pop. And then it'll take a couple seconds and then the second one will pop and then the third one will pop in sometimes. Some of the kernels don't even pop. Like it's not. They didn't have enough time in the microwave. They didn't have enough. Heat or oil. To pop sometimes things take longer. Everybody's different. Like if he put two people on the same diet. One person may lose. Fat faster than the other person. Because it also depends on like genetics and if they're sleeping, Properly in hydrating and all of this stuff so it's. Recognizing what. goal you want to set when you're setting a goal, you also need to be clear about the goal that you want to set. What I mean by that is if like, especially when new years comes around, people are like, oh, I'm going to start eating healthy, more healthy. Healthier. I'm going to start eating healthier. But what does that actually mean for you? And why is that going to benefit you? Why do you want to start eating healthier? What's your end goal for that? That's kind of the why behind your goal to you and you need to get clear on what. You actually want your goal to be what you want your final result to be. And I've talked a lot about the model. And if your result now is. Weighing this amount, then a clear. Goal for you. If you wanted to lose the 10 pounds would be. Take your current weight and then say minus 10 pounds. And I, I wouldn't even put a. I mean, you could put a timeline on it and say like three months. And then if you don't hit that goal in three months, just keep going until you hit that goal. It may take you five months. Hit that goal. But if you put so much pressure on yourself to set a goal, Set this vague goal. Within. An unrealistic timeline. It's going to be very difficult for you. To achieve that goal. And then if you don't achieve it, then you're going to feel so much disappointment in so much shame and confusion. Like why, why can I not be better? Why can I not do this? Why can I not figure this out? So I think. Being aware of. Your current state. And figure out what you want in the future. For a result. So, if you struggle with. Setting a goal. In achieving that goal. It's could be because your lack of clarity. So you have. Unclear or vein goals. Which then you're kind of working towards like a bunch of different things versus just one thing. And so when you get a clear vision of whatever desired. Result that you want. Then it's much easier to stay motivated and. Do things that push the needle towards that goal. Because, you know, the direction that you're going in. When it's vague and unclear, then you're going to lose that motivation and you're going to end up yo-yo. Goal setting. It could also be because the fear of failure. So. You're going to hold yourself back from even. Doing the work to achieve this school. Because. You're gonna let the self-doubt. Wash over you, or you're going to maybe over-consume and sort of create, you're going to procrastinate. You're going to avoid doing the things you need to do in order to achieve this goal. And therefore. He never really gets started You may have a goal or an idea that you want to do, and then you're really enthusiastic about it. For a week, but then that kind of feels a little as out and you haven't built the habit of discipline. And you rely on that enthusiasm and that motivation to help you achieve that goal. And when you wake up and you're like, man, I'm not motivated to do anything today then. What do you do? Usually you don't do what you need to do. We need don't feel like doing it. With that comes planning out. What could happen, planning out your obstacles. Because you can, essentially, when you feel motivated, when you feel creative, then you can knock out a bunch of different things. Maybe to help with. To help you on the days when you don't feel like doing it, or you don't have like a creative spark or. You aren't feeling inspired or passionate. Because we all go through. These ruts. Of I'm gonna do this, this, this, and this. And then the next week, you're like, oh, I really don't want to, you know, such and such happen. Or. I'm just in. My emotions right now, and I need to process them. And so planning ahead of time will help you. Be able to execute things. On the days when you don't feel like showing up. So that scene 10, 20, 30% consistency. I'm talking about. Um, if you need to make videos. Once a week. And then on the day you're supposed to make a videos. You're like, I have nothing to talk about, whatever. You can already have a list of things that you want to talk about and you just choose one. And you make a short video about it. Whether you're. Feeling motivated or excited to talk about it. You still show up. As you are. And you talk about it because that's what you need to do in order to achieve whatever goal you're achieving. Or you're working towards. Sometimes too, like setting really big goals can be scary. You know, overwhelming because you're like, man, if I. My goal is to make a million dollars or is B millionaire. And it's like, you've never made money before or made lots of money before. And you think about it, you're like. I'm never going to be able to do that. Then you're going to get paralyzed by. Indecision. And confusion. And then your brain is going to be all muddy. And then you're going to start trying to do all the things at once. And then you're going to lose steam. Because again, like you could be excited that this is your goal, and then you do all these things that excite you when you feel that way. And then something comes up in life like an obstacle comes up and then you're like, oh, I got to deal with. With this obstacle. And then I have to get around that. But then. You're like, well, I don't feel that spark or that. Excitement anymore. But I still want this goal, but now what do I do? Do I need to create another goal. Do I need to not do something and then you're just questioning yourself. And it's kind of just this pattern in the cycle. And so it's going to take you longer and longer to get to reach that. Million dollar mark, because you're just doing all of these. Other things. Instead of having that clear direction of this is what I'm going to do. And I'm going to do it no matter what. And also negative self-talk. Can. On your mind, your confidence. And then. Here comes in self doubt too. Or limited beliefs. You don't believe that you could actually achieve. That goal. And then you get into that negative self-talk pattern then you ended up maybe not doing anything and becoming. Paralyzed by. Overthinking things and then non taking the action necessary. To. Achieve that goal. So. How you want to set a goal is you want to understand. What. You are trying to achieve, go ahead and plan for those obstacles. Any obstacles I can come up. Create a plan for them. If you have kids and it's like, I do podcasts on Thursdays. And if my kid. Is at home sick on Thursday. What can I do? If that happens, if I need to tend to them. What can I do? Do I have. A backup. Vault of podcasts that I can just pull from. So then I don't have to record on that day. Or. Something like that. Like you're creating a plan for the obstacle. And then you need to clarify what. You want. Your ideal. Result to be. And what, if you achieve that result, what would that look like to you? How would that improve? Your life or change your life, or how would that benefit you for achieving that goal? And the more specific and detailed you are. The. Clear your vision will be. So you need to set goals that. Are clear that meet your needs. You need to set a goal was some kind of measurable. Aspect to it. So it's money. Wait. Maybe time. Something like that. And then. If it's a long-term goal, then you can break it down. So say I want to make this time next year. I want to make a million dollars, then I can break down. Each quarter, what I would need to do, and then I can break that down. Into smaller things. So within each quarter, then I can take each month and then within each month, then I can take each week what I need to do. And then I can take it down to the day. I need to do this. On this day, this, on this day. And then it you're breaking it down and just smaller. Sections as to not overwhelm. Your brain with, I got to do all of these things. At once. And so I am outlining the actions that I need to take. In manageable and doable steps. I think too, it's a good idea to establish accountability. With. Someone. So share your goal with someone. And that's again, why I like having a coach because. Especially, if you get coached by me. I we like to set weekly goals. Two to three. Small goals. And then we come back the next week and we meet and then we reevaluate. And then we talk about what worked, what didn't work and what. Could change. I like to think of. Goals as not necessarily set in stone. For example, if, when I say next year, I want to make a million dollars. If I make more than a million dollars. Then I suppressed my goal. Right. But I can always shift my goal to align with. Another feature result. So if I made a million dollars one year, and then the next year I can say, okay, I'm going to make 3 million this year. And then you kind of keep adding to that. Because sometimes goals may need to be adjusted based on. Circumstances or. New information or maybe you set a timeline for yourself. So for me running the three miles in 24 minutes at the end of June, maybe I run it at the end of may. So I can. Readjust. And reevaluate, like, what do I want to do next? What's my next move. Going to be. So think about the next time you are wanting to have a different result in your life. What goal are you working towards? Why you're working towards that goal. And how can you. Break it down. A simple manner. Where you can. Actually achieve that goal. Okay. Think that's all I have for you today. You know, as always, if you have questions. Concerns you want to say connected then? Check out my Instagram. And tick tock. At merit, Rollins brown. And we have a hurling tournament coming up. In. Memphis this weekend. So I will once again, be out of town. But I'm excited too. Travel with some of the team and. Play in a tournament we've not played in before. At least, uh, my husband and I have not played in this tournament before. So let's see how that goes. Alright, I will chat with you all next week. Okay, bye.